


Risk and Reward

by zeldadestry



Category: Entourage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:51:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeldadestry/pseuds/zeldadestry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, E?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Nas thinks you’re hot.”</p><p>E puts down her beer and turns in Turtle’s direction.  “What are you talking about?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Risk and Reward

“Hey, E?”

“Yeah?”

“Nas thinks you’re hot.”

E puts down her beer and turns in Turtle’s direction. “What are you talking about?”

“Seriously, he does! He said to Vince, just before we left the party, and this is a direct quote: your little girl is pretty.”

Vince laughs at the astonished look on E’s face and waits for her inevitable explosion over how ridiculous and sexist it is to call a woman a girl, and even worse to treat her like a child by making a big deal over her size. 

“No way, you’re playing me, Turtle,” E says, and looks to Vince to confirm her doubt.

“Sorry, E, your gut’s wrong on this one. He’s telling the truth.”

“That’s crazy,” E says. “I think maybe you’re lying to me, too, Vin.” 

Vince smiles at her. “He also said he hoped that, if I wanted to keep you, I knew how to treat you.” 

“Seriously? He’s just randomly giving out relationship advice?”

Vince shrugs. “Hey, we’ve all heard the “Life Is Good” album. Dude’s obviously not over his divorce yet. I guess he was trying to send some wisdom my way.”

“So what’d you tell him?” E asks.

“That I’m sweeter to you than to anybody else.”

E rolls her eyes. “Yeah, like that’s worth anything.” She picks her beer back up and finishes the bottle. 

“Can I get you another?” Vince asks, a little stung by her dismissal. 

“Nah, I’m good.” E suddenly giggles. “Nas checked me out? That’s kind of awesome.” 

“Hey, if I didn’t know better,” Drama says, “I’d say your girl’s into it, Vin.”

“Don’t call me a girl.” E punches Drama’s upper arm. “And you know I’m not his.”

“Sorry, E.”

“Don’t be stupid, Johnny,” Vince says, but his eyes stay fixed on E. “Not even Nas is enough for E to switch sides.”

“I dunno, Vin,” Turtle says. “I think we need to hear it from her.”

E’s blushing. Vince leans in, grabs hold of her knee and shakes her leg. “Tell em, E.” 

“Well, I am from Queens,” E says, “I did grow up worshiping him, and, come on, he put it best himself, he’s ‘Top 5 dead or alive’.” 

“And that’s just off one LP,” Vince says, completing the line by habit.

“Exactly,” E says.

“So what’s your answer?” Turtle says. “Does Nas have a chance with you or not?”

E nods, her face bright red by now. Turtle and Drama bust out laughing, probably at him, Vince figures, because he knows how damn stupid and blindsided he must look right now, gaping at E like he’s never seen her before. By the time he’s got his shit back together, Drama and Turtle are throwing around names of other guys, trying to find anyone else that E might be willing to try. “You guys have terrible taste, seriously,” E says after they’ve listed several dozen. “Gonna have to do a lot better than that.” 

“Stop bullshitting,” Vince whispers in E’s ear. “You’re never interested in guys.” 

“Never say never,” E says, and gets up from the couch for another beer. 

  


“Do you believe that shit?” 

Turtle looks up from the restaurant’s menu, his forehead creased. “What?”

“E.”

“What about her?”

“Saying she might be into guys, maybe.”

Turtle winces. “Vin-”

“What?”

“Let it go.”

Vince observes Turtle, who very deliberately avoids his gaze. “Fucker.”

“What?”

“You knew. How the hell did you know?”

“Just let it go.”

“I can’t.” Vince leans across the table, lowers his voice. “I keep thinking about it, I mean, her.”

Turtle shakes his head. “Come on, Vin, you can get laid a million other ways.”

“That’s not the point.” He always kind of thought Turtle might have a crush on E. “Don’t you ever think about it, about her?”

“She’s my friend, Vin, so, no. I mean, yeah, when we were kids, once or twice, sure, I thought about it, but she’s like my sister, come on.”

“And the guys?”

“What?”

“What guys has she been with?” 

“I don’t know.”

“But you know she’s been with guys?” 

Turtle sighs. “I don’t wanna be in the middle of this shit.”

“Yeah? Too bad, because you already are, so just fuckin tell me.” 

“Alright, alright, but don’t tell her I told you.” Turtle pulls at the neck of his throwback jersey, like it feels too tight, and Vince knows he’s a jerk for pushing this. “Remember when she broke up with Ashley?”

“Yeah?”

“She, uh, she didn’t lie, but she didn’t tell you everything. When Ashley asked if she’d stop talking to Sloan, E said she’d think about it. But then Ashley said she didn’t want E hanging around with you, either. She said if E and you had business, ok, she could handle it, but she wasn’t cool with you guys being buddies, and E told her are you fucking kidding me, I’m out of here. So I asked E, what the hell was she thinking, you know? You’d never get together with Vince, you don’t even like guys. And after I said that, she got all weird and uptight, and I sat back and said, holy shit, you do like guys. And she said she prefers women, she always has, yeah, but she can’t say she never has or never would with a guy.”

“Ok, so why the fuck would she tell you this and not me?”

“I dunno, Vin.” 

“What’s up, bro?” Drama says, joining them at the table. “You ok?”

“I’m good.”

“You don’t look so good.”

“It’s cool, Drama.” 

“Vin’s ego’s all bruised.”

“That’s not the problem, Turtle.”

“He wants to know why E doesn’t “like” like him,” Turtle says, openly laughing at Vince.

“Hey, E’s adorable,” Johnny says, “but, Vin, you can’t be that hung up over her.” 

“Why not?”

“You sleep with models, movie stars, she’s not on that level.”

“I don’t compare women like that, Johnny. If I want someone, I want them, it’s not like I’m ranking them.”

Drama seems lost in thought for a moment, before lighting up. “Hey, I get it. I mean, first of all, she’s a control freak, so you know she probably lets go and gets crazy in the sheets. And then she’s so tiny,” Drama holds up his hands like he’s imagining her hips between them, “and didn’t she say she’s not really into the whole strap-on thing, so she’s gotta be so tight, like-”

“Shut the fuck up, Drama,” Turtle says.

“Johnny, that’s enough,” Vince says. “She’s our friend, ok? We’re not gonna talk about her like that.”

“If it’s not your ego,” Turtle says, “then what’s your fuckin problem?”

“Oh, and you know she’d be up for threesomes,” Drama continues, like they hadn’t just cut him off. “She gets offered almost as much pussy as you do, Vin.”

A woman at the table next to them hisses, “Fuckin pig,” at Drama, who pouts at the insult. 

“Seriously, Drama,” Turtle says, dropping a hand on his shoulder, “let the big boys finish their conversation.”

“She lied to me, to us,” Vince says. “That’s my fuckin problem with it. She’s our best friend and she flat out lied to us.”

“No, she didn’t,” Turtle says. “She didn’t tell us everything. That’s different. Come on, I know I’ve got shit I don’t tell you guys.”

“Like what?” Drama says, offended.

“Like none of your fuckin business,” Turtle says, before turning back to Vince, “and I know there’s gotta be shit you don’t tell her.”

Vince shakes his head. “No way. I don’t keep secrets from E. I’ve never kept a secret from E.” Except of course that’s a fuckin lie, because the point of this whole stupid conversation is that he’s into her and, yeah, that’s something he’s tried to keep to himself. But that was a cover up for their friendship’s sake. That was because he respected her and never wanted her to feel awkward or uncomfortable with him. 

“Look, you guys are tight, so, if she didn’t tell you, that means she probably had a good reason,” Turtle says.

“Hey,” Drama says, tilting his head to the door. “She’s here.”

E’s on her phone, but she ends the call before reaching their table. “Hey, guys. What’s up?” She takes her usual seat, next to Vince, and he feels weird enough that it takes a moment for him to look at her. When he does, he immediately notices her smug grin.

“What’re you smirking about?” he asks, and nudges her knee with his own.

“That was Kathryn Bigelow.”

“No way.”

“Yeah. Just starting a new project, wouldn’t give me any details, not really, but I told her a few weeks ago that you’d love to work with her, and she was calling me back to say they’re interested in a screen test for you.”

“Awesome.”

“I told her you loved “The Hurt Locker” and that you’ve seen “Strange Days” a dozen times.”

Vince laughs. “I’ve watched it that much because you were watching it because you have a hard-on for Angela Bassett.”

E grins. “True, but Kathryn already likes me, so I don’t need to kiss her ass, I’ve just gotta do it for you.”

“You’re the best, E,” Vince says, and wonders if she hears the hollowness there.

  


Over all these years, ever since she told him she liked girls, Vince has trained himself not to think of E sexually. He’s told his body, every time it reacted to her presence, her closeness, no, don’t go there, we can’t go there, she doesn’t want it.

Hell, for a very long time he even tried not to ever picture her when he jerked off. He said that to her, one night when they were wasted, and she waved his confession away. “Vin, seriously, I don’t care, don’t worry about it.” She laughed. “Hey, I’ll even help you out.” She stood in front of him, just out of reach, and started shimmying her underwear off from beneath her dress. “Close your eyes,” she ordered. He obeyed, until the scrap of fabric hit him in the face and fell down onto his lap. He crumpled the warm fabric in his hand, and then he started laughing, too. “I’m going to bed,” E said, and walked away. 

So, what? How is he supposed to think about something like that now? Was he an idiot for not being aggressive? For not getting on his knees in front of her, parting her legs, and getting his face in her pussy as fast as possible, before either of them could think twice about it?

He did get off on the gift, for as long as the cotton kept her scent. He jerked off as soon as he reached his own room, sucking on the crotch of her underwear, tasting her, the closest he’s ever been to having her, and the fabric was damp, so he knew that, as they’d been sitting there, talking about how he fantasized about her, she’d been wet. It’s not proof, exactly, it could’ve just been the sex talk, not anything to do with him, specifically, but it’s a start.

Fuck, E. Sitting in his living room, right now, as he watches her from the doorway. She’s the source, if he’s honest, of most of the affection in his life and, if all this shit hadn’t gone down, he’d be with her right now. He’d be lying out on the couch beside her, resting his head on her thighs, looking up at her and asking her what’s wrong, what’s on her mind, and she’d probably tell him, she’d probably talk to him, and, all the while, her fingers would drag through his hair, smoothing out the tangles, stroking his scalp, letting him slip into a trance, a kind of peace he only feels when it’s just the two of them together. But now he can’t have that, that casual closeness is gone, because now, instead of sinking into the moment, he’s just caught up in need, in wanting to kiss the insides of her thighs, because, even more than fucking her, he just wants to go down on her, make her come more times than anyone else ever has, just feel her around his tongue and his fingers. It makes perfect sense, what he wants, because he looks at E all the time, hears her voice, and he’s been free to touch her- not however he wants, but whenever he wants. It’s one of the best benefits of being such good friends with a girl, hugging her and putting his arm around her, and never worrying that she won’t hug back, that she’ll shrug him off. So, yeah, he touches her, holds her close enough that he can smell her, her skin, her hair. But taste? Yeah, that’s the one way he’s been deprived, never allowed, beyond that one time, to have her. So now it’s all he can think about, all he wants is permission to lick every part of her body, from the arches of her feet all the way up to the part in her hair. He wants to suck on her nipples, kiss her until their lips go numb, and it’s not just permission he needs from her, because who the hell knows what he might get if he begs long enough, if he seems desperate enough? What he needs is for her to want it, too. Maybe she’ll never want this as bad as he does but can she at least want it enough to ask him for it? 

He goes to her. He knows he shouldn’t, but it’s been this way for so long, he can’t break the habit now, shit’s going right or shit’s going wrong, either way, he goes to her, he lays it out, he wants to hear her say that it’s all gonna work out, that they’re gonna make it through, they’re gonna do better than that, they’re gonna win. “Everything ok?”

E starts at the sound of his voice. “Don’t creep up on me, asshole.”

“Sorry.” He sits down next to her on the couch. “You ok?” 

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Usually he would reach over, drag his hand across her brow, maybe even poke a finger at the corners of her lips tugging downward. “Because you’re frowning.” 

“Got a lot on my mind,” she says, but she puts the script she was reading back in its folder and turns enough towards him that he knows she’s gonna listen, if he starts to talk.

“You-” he starts off. 

“What?”

“And guys.”

E tilts her head up to stare at the ceiling. “Seriously, Vin?” He looks at the column of her throat, watches her swallow, wonders if there’s any reason to go with words when his body could probably put it so much better. He reaches out his hand, presses his thumb into her flesh until he finds her pulse. She lets him, for a moment, and then she wraps her hand around his wrist and pulls him away. “Yes, I’ve been with guys, ok?”

“Why?”

“Does it matter?”

“I mean, as part of threesomes, or just you and I guy, what?”

“Why is this such a big deal to you?”

“I just, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I tell you everything, E, everything. I told you in high school, the first time a guy got me off, I told you when that chick fucked me with a strap-on, I never hold out on you.”

“I wasn’t holding out on you, Jesus! What is this, huh? I’m not allowed to live my own life?”

“Of course you are- I just- I thought-”

“What?”

“I thought if you were gonna, I guess I always thought it would be with me.”

E stands. “I can’t believe you wanna risk our friendship for this. I thought- I can’t believe you.” E grabs her hoodie from the arm of the couch, puts her arms through its sleeves, and zips it up.

He gave her that sweatshirt. They were on a hike, one afternoon, a couple of years ago, and she was getting over the flu and became a little chilled, so he wrapped her up in it, hugged her until she told him she felt warm again. “I wish you trusted me.”

“Of course I do, come on, don’t be stupid.”

“No, you don’t, you don’t fucking- why can’t you get this?”

“Get what?”

“What I’m telling you!”

E throws up her hands. “What the fuck are you telling me?”

“I love you.”

“Vin, just stop this, ok?” 

He should. She sounds sad and he didn’t wanna do this, he didn’t wanna upset her. “I think I’ve loved you since we were fifteen because I still remember how weird I felt when you told me you liked girls. I couldn’t be around you for like a month without freaking out, remember?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“And you thought I was working through my issues, or whatever, but I don’t think that’s what it was, E. I just had to get my mind around the fact that we were never gonna be anything other than friends. And now you tell me-” He gets up from the couch, intending to move towards her, but, when she shakes her head, he freezes, waits.

“This is- it’s not fair to me, ok?”

“Look, I get it, I do. I know I’m being an asshole, I know you think this is just about my ego-”

“It is about your ego!”

“Yeah, maybe a little, yeah. But that’s only a part of it. It’s just mostly about- shit, E, don’t make me say it again.”

“Vin, I love you, too, ok, but that doesn’t mean this is gonna happen. It doesn’t mean it’s not an incredibly bad idea.”

“Can I kiss you?” Her lips part, and he takes a step towards her. “Or maybe you wanna kiss me?” 

“No.”

“No?” 

“I know it’s not a word you like to hear, but it’s what I’m saying.”

“I love you. There’s no one in this fuckin world I love as much as I love you. And that’s not gonna change. And maybe that scares you.” He takes her hand into his own, stares down at it, rubs his thumb over the platinum and sapphire ring she’s wearing on her finger, another gift from him. 

“Friendship is not worth trading for a fuck. I know you know that.”

“I don’t want to fuck you.”

“Ok.”

“I mean, I do, but if you said, E, if you said I could have you, I would just get my mouth between your legs and stay there until I knew there was no way I could ever forget what you taste like. I want to feel your lips swell when I touch them, get more and more of your wetness on my tongue.”

Her hand, he thinks it trembles in his grip. “Jesus, Vin.”

“And I’d kiss you. I would kiss and lick every part of you I could. But I don’t need to fuck you. I don’t even need you to touch me back. I would just want to know that you liked it. That I made you feel amazing, that’s all.”

E lets out her breath in a long whoosh. “I need a fuckin drink,” she says, tugging her hand free and turning towards the bar. “What the fuck’s wrong with you, starting a conversation like this sober?”

“I wanted you to know I was serious.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“Sit back down, I’ll get you a drink.”

She waits until he returns with vodka to ask, “So what is it you want, exactly?”

“I just- I wanna touch you, I want to be able to tell you I love you and know you believe it.”

“Right, but, what I mean is- are you talking about sex or about being together?”

“E, come on.”

“What?”

“You’re never this stupid.”

She pokes his side. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Of course I want to be with you. Is that- what do you think?”

“Honestly, I think that’s worse. Because, if we take this seriously, then shit’s gonna be that much harder when it’s over, and I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

“Who says it has to end?”

“Vin- I don’t, look, no offense, but I don’t see you as a guy who wants to be tied down.”

“Well, yeah, because I’m usually not. But, I wanna be with you and, whatever that means, I’m ok with it. Shit, I’m good with it, E. This is what I want.”

“And what if there are women I want to be with?”

“I wouldn’t be jealous. I’m not like that.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t say the same.”

“You’d be jealous if I went off with someone else?”

“Yeah, I would.”

“So I’ll promise you, right now, I won’t do that. If there’s someone I want and you want them, too, then we can share and that’s- same goes for you, I mean, if there’s someone you want maybe we can both be with them.” E nibbles at a hangnail, so he knows she’s still flipping out over this. “Look, you’re not the only one with something to lose here. You really think it wouldn’t get to me, too, if this goes bad? You think I wouldn’t care if you decided you wanted to be with someone else more, or that you just didn’t want to be with me anymore? You think that wouldn’t hurt me, that I’d just shrug, say whatever, and continue on with my life like it didn’t matter?”

She drops her hand in her lap and looks at him. “I still think this is a really bad idea.”

“That’s not a no.”

“No, it’s not.”

Vince places his hands at her shoulders, draws her in until she’s leaning against him, her head resting on his chest. “I can live with that.” 

They sit like that for a long moment, still, quiet, and Vince thinks this is probably it, for now, and he’s ok with that, really. He’s ok if this is all there ever is because at least it’s out there, now, they’re not hiding from each other anymore. It’s not like he’s giving up on this, on the possibility of them, but he is willing to let it go, so she surprises the hell out of him when she says, “You know, although I’ve been with guys, I’ve never given a blow job.”

Vince kisses the crown of her head, quick to reassure her. “No worries. That’s cool. You don’t have to do that for me. You don’t have to do anything for me.”

“No, that’s- that’s not what I mean. I just- when you were talking before, I get it, I do. What you said, about wanting to taste me, feel me get wetter because of you. It’s the same for me.” She pulls back so she can look up at him, and he presses his palm against her flushed cheek. “I wanna feel you get harder when I suck you, I wanna taste you, I wanna hear what you sound like when you come, and know it’s all because of my mouth, how I touch you.” As she speaks, she trails the pads of her fingers over the curves of his lips, makes him shiver with both her words and her body. “Vin-” she whispers. 

He drags his hand up the strong line of her thigh, stopping when he reaches the point of her hip and staying there. “You wanna go upstairs, go to my room?” 

E covers his hand with her own and holds on tight. “Yeah,” she says, “I really do.”


End file.
